The Force is Strong With This One

The Heights.

She looks so angelic, doesn't she? Lots of the time she acts angelic too. And then there are other times...

The Depths.

Today is the first day MCM has taken a nap since last Saturday. What the...

Not only has she not napped, she has thrown knock-down-drag-out full-on tantrums regarding the nap. Every. Single. Day. The worst day was Tuesday. I literally felt like I was in an episode of Supernanny. My child who only a week ago would gladly crawl into the bed and fall asleep immediately at nap time decided she would disappear. All at once I was concerned for the safety of this new MCM, who was acting like a caged tiger, completely hurt that she was acting so crazy, furious at her for her behavior and overwhelmed with how much I love her and want to do anything in my power to help her or comfort her. These "tantrums" if they can be called that, have lasted for hours each day. Hours. All week I've gone back and forth about how to handle this situation. I'm only learning about discipline. I certainly don't have the answers. In fact, I have no answers. (Please don't leave comments about answers or the books where I might find them.) I just happen to be a person who despises conflict and would gladly run as far from this situation as possible given the opportunity. Unfortunately, this is my child, and she must be dealt with. I feel a bit like I've been in a torture chamber all week. Perhaps this is what it feels like to be waterboarded?

If you're not blessed with a high-needs child, you just have no idea how far they can push you to the brink of insanity. That's where I have been teetering all week...hanging by a thread on about 4 hours of sleep at night and zero moments of peace when I've been awake (and about 1 meal a day, since that's about all there's been time for). I've been so tense, I've had to remind myself to breathe.

Oh, and I also have another child who needs to be fed/diapered/held/parented. It's awesome, especially because 90% of my day is spent meeting the needs of my high-needs child. She is spectacular and spectacularly demanding. I love her so much it literally hurts. The heights and the depths. She embodies it. Our relationship embodies it. And I'm not sure if I'm thankful for that or not.

My husband and I have concluded that a lot of her difficulty stems from how intelligent she is. Nothing gets past this child. Sometimes attempting to discipline her feels like trying to discipline an grown-up. She's so bright, it's ridiculous, at times, maddening (occasionally funny too). We've concluded that if we can just get through this time, she's obviously destined for greatness no matter what she does. No one with her amount of persistence, determination and will of iron couldn't be, right?

Oh wait, she's crying already. Today's successful (?) nap lasted all of 20 minutes. You've got to be freaking kidding me...

Isn't She Lovely?

It's hard to believe, but LCM is 7 weeks old. It's been a whirlwind, but somehow she's been with us for almost 2 months. In some ways it feels like much longer. I actually have to remind myself that she's as new as she is. Despite everything she's been through, she is still mostly a laid back girl. She rolls with the punches as well as any baby could, and I'm happy to say she is eating and sleeping like a champ. At her 1 month doctor's appointment she had gained 2 pounds and grown 2 inches. Last night she slept for 7 1/2 hours straight. Don't ask me about that one - could be a total fluke. I still don't quite understand how a baby can sleep like that, but it is very nice!! She is definitely her own little person, completely different than MCM, precious in her own little Lucy way. Her newest trick is the social smile. I'm a little obsessed with getting a smile out of her. It makes me so happy! She's also making the switch from brown hair to blond hair and is rocking blond roots with brown tips. Somehow she is managing to look more and more like her sister while at the same time looking an awful lot like her Mama's baby pictures. She's a pretty cute kiddo, if I do say so myself :)

Birthday Girl

Daddy and his girl. She was wanting her hands wiped. She does not like dirty hands.

Mommy, Daddy and sweet MCM.

I can't believe she actually smiled for a picture with me! (Yes, my hair is conspicuously darker. I'm trying to venture back to my "natural" color. This is a bit darker than it actually is...I think.)

More attempts at a family pic. Couldn't subject Lulu to the sun and heat though.

Getting a hug from her buddy, Sam.

Sam pulled MCM in her wagon just like she was the princess!

Then Daddy pulled his princesses...

Cake!

As soon as she saw the cake she stuck her fingers right in it! That's my girl! She loves the icing best.

Pop, Nana, and Lucy looking deep in thought.

KK was the only one who wore my Pooh ears. She and BT also went above and beyond picking up the cake and decorating everything.

Heat/cake/sugar coma.

But that doesn't stop her!

Trying so hard to escape posing for pictures.

Icing mustache.

"Me?" It took her a second to understand that the presents were indeed for her.

Guess what? It's a little hot outside for a party at the park, but we did it anyway. We weren't the only ones...Julie from The Real World New York was having a party for one of her kids too at the the pavilion next to us. (For all you youngins reading this, I'm talking about the 1st cast in NYC - not the crappy re-do a few years ago.)

Anyway, MCM finally had a birthday party, and it turned out great. There was sunshine, a cool breeze and cupcakes for all. Cake is really the only thing that matters to MCM as far as birthdays are concerned, cake and singing "Happy Birthday" - she loves it, and I've sung it to her many times this week. Thanks go the whole family for showing up. She loves to see you all, and I know she is a child who feels so loved by so many people!

At two years old...

• She has 3 best friends - Blue dog, Snuggle, and Minnie Mouse. She takes them everywhere and talks to them all day long. They are invovled in all of our games around the house. We even hold hands with them at night when we say our prayers. Seriously.
  
• She loves to play pretend with her toys. This is new, because before she always had to have me play with her. Now she tinkers around with her dolls and dollhouses and yes, even Thomas the Train and makes up little stories and dialogue. So cute.
• She sings! She loves Twinkle Twinkle Little Star right now. I hear her singing it in bed with her 3 buddies every night. She also sings a song that resembles "Dumb Dog" from Annie. Mostly she just sings "Doooogeeee doooogeeee dooogeee!" over and over. It makes me laugh.
  
• She talks up a storm. Especially lately she is coming up with new sentences every day. When we go places in the car she narrates the whole time. Hysterical. It's amazing to be able to communicate with her!
• She loves her little sister. She asks about her first thing in the morning and as soon as she wakes up for naps. She tries to take care of her - offering her the paci when she cries and always wanting to hold and kiss her. Today she heard Lucy crying her room and ran to tell me. I said, "Is she crying?" and she said, "Paci." I said, "Do I need to give her a paci?" And she said, "Me." As in, "Me do it." So funny!
• On the same note, she loves to mother her stuffed animals and toys. I think half of them are wearing Lucy's newborn diapers right now. We diaper them, give them bottles, burp them, and put them to night night all day long...even the trains.
  
• She still loves dogs more than anything.
• She still loves books and is growing into books with more words. Current faves: The Little Engine That Could, Caps for Sale, and her children's Bible.
• She loves cartoons, mostly Disney movies. Her favs are Jungle Book, The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (watched almost daily), and Peter Pan.
  
• She can throw a ball better than any two-year-old I've ever seen. The girl can aim. You better watch out!
• She loves to do anything physical - dancing, running, jumping, skipping. She is a ball of energy.
• She still has babas (bottles) every day and her paci! Not sure when I'll ever make her give those up...
• She takes one afternoon nap that hits between 12:30 and 1:00 PM usually. She sleeps like a champ in her big girl bed and still goes to bed at 7:00 PM!
  
• She is still one of the pickiest eaters around, but I feel like we're starting to make some headway in that department.
• She is completely read to be potty trained. She's done number 1 and number 2 in the potty, but I've been really lazy about making the total transition, because of all the craziness we've had going on. It's coming soon though!!

MCM, we love you more than words could ever say! You are a blessing indeed!

Two Years Old

The sweet face in anticipation of a sweet treat...

But first she wants to kiss her sissy (every time she gets a chance).

And give a cheek snuggle.

Now it's time to get down to birthday business!

The next day she decided she wanted to be swaddled too.

And then she broke the swaddle for a nose pick. She didn't learn it from watching me...heh...but it looks like her sister is learning from watching her!

We still haven't officially celebrated MCM's birthday, but Monday we did manage to have a little fun...a trip to The Kids Gym, a grilled cheese at The Diplomat and most importantly, Lucy's napping afforded us the chance to spend the whole afternoon outside playing together - MCM's favorite and mine. I love this girl so much. She has turned our lives upside down and filled them with more joy and love than we could imagine. What a blessing you are MCM!

Sick Lucy

This is what a very sick baby looks like.

What a time this has been. Some of you know, and some of you don't, but last weekend Lucy became very sick. She was acting a little strange on Saturday and Sunday - sleeping more, fussier, etc. - but because she is so new, I thought maybe this is just a new side of her we're getting to see. She wasn't coughing, sneezing, etc., just acting a little different than before. Then on Sunday night she became increasingly fussy, breaking into intense cries pretty much every time we picked her up or touched her at all. About 3:00 AM Monday morning we took her temperature, and it was 102.5. Most of you know that is extremely scary for a newborn. We weren't sure what to do, so we tried to cool her down, gave her the slightest dose of Tylenol, and then took her temperature gain a little later. It was lower, so we decided to wait until morning to go to the doctor. Sure enough, by about 6:00 AM it was back up again, so we took her to the doctor (shout out to Dr. Casey), who sent us straight to the hospital.

This was all new to us, because MCM has been such a healthy baby. We got to the ER and they had to do what they call "a full septic workup" - (something they have to do for all babies less than 8 weeks old who run fevers) a urine test with a catheter, drawing blood (inserting an IV), spinal tap (!!), and usually a chest x-ray, but that was one thing we were able to escape. We had to let our poor 4-week-old baby get poked and prodded and listen to her scream bloody murder while the doctors did these things...knowing they're necessary to make sure something is not horribly wrong, but also just wanting to say no to all of them, because it seems so cruel for a little baby to go through that! Particularly the spinal tap...which tests for meningitis - something you don't want to mess with. We felt we couldn't say no, but after watching her go through it...5 times, yes, it took 5 TIMES until they were able to get spinal fluid...let's just say I'm practically having nightmares about the whole experience. Poor Lucy literally cried so hard that she just eventually fell asleep (or passed out) while they were doing it. It makes me want to cry just thinking about it.

Then we were admitted to the hospital where we stayed from Monday until Friday. Lucy ran high fevers for 4 days straight, which was extremely scary. I have never in my life seen a baby that sick, or even a child that sick. The whole experience felt like we were torturing her, but we were just doing everything we could do to make her better. Every test ame back negative, and ultimately the doctors decided it was some sort of fever virus that would just have to run it's course. Things like that are super common for bigger kids like MCM, but in an infant they are SCARY!

It was a horrible week on so many levels. We are so thankful that Lucy is home and doing better, but now we are dealing with the cumulative effects of a very stressful 5 weeks. Obviously, Leland and I have not gotten much rest. He has been sick and I have been with Lucy 24/7. Lucy has been having a hard time, because the experience at the hospital was so traumatic for her. It makes me sad that my formerly laid back baby is now so fussy and unhappy, but it has seemed to improve every day this week. We're praying that the Lord will give her peace in her heart and erase every memory of what she went through from her mind. Most of all we are grateful to the Lord that she is home and healthy.

MCM has been a trooper through all of this - especially the fact that Mommy was gone for 5 days - much longer than any time we've been apart before. She is such a sweetheart. She understood that Lucy was sick and every time I talked to her on the phone she would ask, "Sister? Sister?" trying to make sure Lucy was okay. I know they are going to have a special relationship one day!

We're all glad to be together again, especially because this week was MCM's second birthday! We'll be having an official celebration this weekend, and maybe I'll actually have time to post pictures of that one promptly. Happy birthday MCM!

Wordless Wednesday

Don't you wish you could be this happy every day?

The Many Faces of Lucy

The alien face...

Okay, I'm not even sure what to call this one. It just makes me laugh.

"Whatchu talkin' 'bout Willis?"

I promise she really is a very pretty baby. For some reason I can't seem to get a good picture of her! Last week she broke out in a horrible case of baby acne that was still hanging around for these pictures. This week it's clearing up, but of course I have yet to pull out my camera. I guess it's true that it's nearly impossible to take as many pictures of the second baby as you did of the first. I'm going to try though!

I really would love to write more, but I'm not sure when that's going to happen...

The New Normal

"Cheese."

Isn't she so pretty?

Like a little model with her intense gaze.

And her sister, looking very Brown family-esque if you ask me.

It's hard to get a good picture of a baby lying down. Can you see the color of her hair though? Dark blonde. So pretty with those navy blue eyes!

I know you all just really want to see pictures, and I'm trying to stay on top of that.

Life has been a little crazy around here. Generally speaking, I know the next 6 months to, let's face it, a year are going to be crazy. The first year of a child's life is pretty consuming for the dedicated parent. I remember referring to MCM's first year as "her" year. I realized that no matter what plans I had, things were basically about her - especially because she's a bit of a high maintenance girl. This year, will likely be similar, although I expect it to tax me in a new way as I hope to dedicate as much time and energy to LCM's special year, while never letting MCM feel as if she's taken the back-burner. It's hard. Really, really, hard.

MCM and I are extremely close...as close as I could imagine being to any child. I wouldn't trade that for the world, but I do think it makes it extra hard for her to let go of me a little bit. I don't feel like she's missed out on attention much at all - Lord knows, I've been killing myself to spend every free minute with her. But, I can see that it makes her feel a little insecure when she sees me hold and care for LCM. In fact, those are the moments she wants to sit in my lap, be picked up, or have me sit and play with her.

Being the sweet girl that she is, none of this has affected her feelings toward her baby sister. She loves her and does nothing but try to cuddle her and kiss her - and of course cries every time LCM cries. (Empathy is good, I know, but must it be so loud??) However, she has been throwing her inner sense of animosity straight at her Mommy, and it has definitely been a difficult time for both of us.

I know we're in a new phase, and we're all adjusting to the new normal around here, but can anyone tell me exactly how long it might take her to adjust to things? Tips, advice, commiseration are especially appreciated from those who would describe any of their children as "spirited" or "high needs" or "strong willed"...

Sisters

Blurry, yes, but still cute. You also can't tell, but LCM is tucked in the sling behind MCM. Promise she wasn't suffocating, just sleeping.

Biiiiig yawn. She sleeps a lot...so far.

MCM is working hard to be the best big sister ever. Honestly, she seems to love her sister and is definitely growing into quite a little nurturer. Such a sweetheart.

LCM doesn't seem to mind all the kisses and hugs she gets from her big sister either. She seems to be a pretty laid back girl. Other than that, I'm afraid to make pronouncements about her temperament. All I can say is that it's apparent that they have very different little personalities, and one of them is keeping me lots busier than the other. You can probably guess which one...

Promise a real update is coming soon! Gotta go feed a baby though...

At the doctor...

LCM had her first doctor's appointment Wednesday. MCM came too with my Mom to watch out for her. She was pretty interested in making sure LCM was okay, and I think she was really glad it wasn't an appointment where she is the one being fooled with. Guess what though? It's really hard to get a decent picture of two little ones!!

LCM doesn't like things like diaper changes and doctor's exams, but she barely cried at the doctor! She lost 6 oz before we left the hospital, but she regained 12 oz the first week at home and grew a half inch! Yay for LCM! My milk came in the day we got home, but it always SO feels good to hear that your baby is growing like she should! Other than that, there's not much to tell about our appointment. She looks healthy and normal. Right now she's eating great and sleeping most of the time. I still feel like it's too early to make proclamations about her temperament, but she has been nothing but laid back and as sweet as can be. It has really been a pleasure to savor her smallness and sweetness. She is just so tiny and delicate and beautiful! I am having a blast with MCM as she gets older - probably now more than ever - but I also feel like I'm able to appreciate LCM's babyhood in a way that I couldn't with MCM. I was such a stressed out new Mommy!

Big sister keeping an eye on little sister. She does NOT like hearing LCM cry! She says, "Mama, help!" when LCM really gets going. She has such a compassionate little heart. :)

Another attempt to get MCM to say "cheese" and poor LCM looking like a munchkin in the car seat.

Sweet girls.