Sleep.

Take a good look at this picture. Sleeping baby...so peaceful. This was about two months ago. Back then, MCM was sleepy a lot, and even though she was often a restless sleeper, she slept a lot.

Fast forward to now, and we have a baby who rarely naps even when she is so exhausted there are circles under her eyes...a baby who cries a LOT out of sheer exhaustion yet completely refuses to sleep. Her little eyes simply refuse to close. Honestly, when I think about it, it's pretty amazing.

If you are a parent of a sleepless child, you know the total frustration of rocking a baby to sleep for seemingly hours only to have that baby wake up the second you lower her into the crib ever so gently. You know that yucky feeling your mouth gets after shushing and patting for so long you think it might be stuck in the shush formation. You've tried laying her down "sleepy but awake" and you know that's total crap. You might have even tried CIO (cry it out), but if your baby is like mine, she won't even be crying in the crib. She'll just be awake. You've also probably found yourself holding your baby for hours on end - day or night - just so she will get some amount of sleep. If there are any other parents out there who find themselves in these precarious situations, I want to say that you're not alone. I like to think that MCM is like this, because she loves me so much she can't even stand to sleep lest she spend time away from me and miss seeing my beautiful face. It makes me feel better.

The Most Dramatic Rose Ceremony - EVER!

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, it's that special time of year when The Bachelor returns to prime time television.

My love for this show began post-college, when my sister insisted that I watch the finale of this strange show where a man dates 25 women on TV for a month and then gets engaged to one of them at the end. It was a new-fangled genre of television aptly dubbed "reality" for it's elaborate rose ceremonies, exotic date locals and whirlwind courtships which remind us of our own dating experiences. (roight??) I was instantly hooked. I became more deeply engrossed while living in Birmingham with Amber, where our weeks all but revolved around Oprah, The Bachelorette (featuring Trista and Ryan aka true love), and that season of American Idol with Ruben Studdard (205!!). Since then, I have (with Leland) faithfully watched every season of The Bachelor. It never disappoints.

I highly encourage you to tune in Monday nights on ABC.

**Please do not hold me responsible for ensuing silly behavior by women who are waaay out of high school, gratuitous camera shots, uncomfortable close-up kisses or hot tub scenes. Those are just par for the course**

If you are a faithful fan, as I am, and are not reading The Bachelor Recap blog, I suggest you scoot on over there right now and find yourself laughing out loud uncontrollably.

Pretty Pictures for Your Tuesday Enjoyment

Because naked (necked) babies with big bellies are cute...

We got to see Aunt Kelly and Aunt Caitlin (not pictured :( unfortunately) last week.

MCM is learning to sit in the Bumbo chair. She only tolerates short periods of time in it, which is strange since working on holding up her head is her FAVORITE thing right now besides pretending to stand up and walk.

Sweet post-smile face #60,000,000

#60,000,001

Kelly and MCM having a talk. You won't believe me, but MCM actually said "hey" to Kelly when she saw her. I have witnesses.

Is She Good?

I wish I had a dime for every time I have been asked that question. Friends, family, total strangers......they all want to know if my child is good.

Maybe they are just making conversation, but being the analytical gal that I am, my mind goes to town wondering how to answer this innocent (?) question. I mean, is MCM good? How do I know if she's good? She's my kid, and I'm practically obsessed with her, so she must be good...but she cries a lot...and shoots poop...and pee...and spit up...and sometimes she's up at all hours of the day or night...sometimes I'm not sure if she likes me much, but "is she good?"

I mean, what if I answer "No, she is not good." Would people be shocked to hear that? Are they just expecting that I'll say, "Yes, she's an angel!" Is "is she good?" just a conversation piece like, "Hey, girl (I may not remember your name), how are ya?" ("ya" signifying that I am not particularly interested in how you are, so if you respond with "well, not so good..." the conversation will get awkward)?

I don't know, and I still don't know how to answer that question, but I will say that lately MCM is not necessarily "good". In light of the fact that there are people in the world with real problems, I've had a hard time writing the details about it on this blog. It seems stupid. Since MCM is pretty much my whole world right now, it's been hard to think of anything else to write about other than what's really going on. I know that things will get better, and I know that babies are not babies forever. It doesn't really matter whether or not MCM is good, because one day she will be older and she can tell me what she needs instead of crying for it.

I also will say is that I love this child despite her sometimes difficult demeanor. I am thankful for a healthy baby. I have been praying with so many of you for Boothe, Conor, Sellers and Copeland. It brought me to my knees to read Boothe's fragile prayer that baby Copeland would just cry so they would know that she's receiving the oxygen she needs. She was praying the hear that cries of her baby even as I have been begging God to make the cries of my baby stop. What foolishness. I believe the call of Christ is a call to suffering, and though I don't have the faith of Paul, I believe what he believed, that we suffer with Christ that we may also be glorified with Him, that it's through these sufferings that His glory is revealed. "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed in us." (Rom 8:18) I know that what I consider my own "suffering" is not to be compared with the glory he is revealing in the Farleys through their current trial. Still, I count myself blessed to be worthy to mother a difficult baby, and humbly, for my sister and brother in Christ, I pray.

Call Me Superstitious

What MCM sees...I purchased a monstrosity of a mobile in hopes that it would lull her to sleep...so far, no luck. She really likes to stare at it though.

We made it to church on Sunday, thank goodness. I wish you could get the full effect of how adorable she was in this little dress!

Me and Leland's mini-me

Attempting to catch a smile for the billionth time. Poor MCM looks like a deer in headlights!

We did make it to church on Sunday, which was great. I put my vanity aside and carried MCM in the Moby, which was a lifesaver as usual. (I'm like a walking advertisement for this thing!) She slept the entire time, and I was able to pay attention to the service without worrying about her having a meltdown or deciding it was time to start working on holding up her head (it sounds a lot like a tennis player grunting on the court).

My boldness in the face of a possible jinx is waning quickly. It's uncanny how one day I can be celebrating what feels like progress with MCM, and the next day it's as if nothing has changed or perhaps we're even degressing a bit. (I'm not just talking about MCM here - it's Mommy too) Maybe I need to lower my expectations. Maybe I get overly excited when I get extra sleep or when MCM takes a nap longer than 20 minutes, but can you blame me? So, I'm not going to stop getting excited when we have a great day or a great night, but I will say that the past few days and nights are not going quite so well. I'm holding the jinx responsible.

I wish I had more time to write, but believe me when I say that my child sleeps no longer than 20 minutes at a time, and she's waking up again...more later.

p.s. I think there's an animal living in our attic, and it's starting to scare me. It makes noises that sound like an elephant, but there are also the occasional fluttering of what could be wings or tails or who knows what. We may have to vacate the premises - and I mean run!

Just Another Saturday

Today Joy and I took MCM to the Cooper Young Festival. We were blessed with absolutely beautiful weather. Thank goodness fall is inching it's way into Memphis! Even though MCM kinda woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, we popped her into the Moby, and she slept for 2 hours while we wandered around looking at arts and crafts and generally enjoyed people watching. By the time we got home, I felt pretty exhausted. I guess MCM did too, because she slept most of the afternoon away.

L spent the day watching SEC football. Yep, it's that time of year. I so wish I was a football fan, but I'm just not. Right now it's 8:00 PM, and we're just now not watching a game. Sheesh...

Tomorrow we are committed to getting MCM to church no matter how difficult it might be. We took her for the first time at 6 weeks. But, since she went through such a long period of not sleeping well (and Mommy and Daddy not sleeping), we decided to just take it slowly and be committed to consistently taking her at 12 weeks. Here we are, and I hope she'll be ready to sleep tonight and be sweet tomorrow. Pics will be on the way!

Happy 12 Weeks MCM!

I can't believe MCM has only been with us for 12 weeks! How would I describe these past 3 months? Well, we've been up, and we've been down...we've cried tears of joy, and we've cried tears of exhaustion. Sometimes we've been on top of the world, and sometimes we've felt like crazy people! (MCM must be fully aware of this, if the pics to the right tell us anything!) All in all, this has hands down been the toughest but BEST time in our lives. I cannot imagine a world without MCM in it. She is truly a joy in every way!

L and I were talking just last night...after remarking about what a perfect little girl we have, we both acknowledged that even though newborns are tough, we love our little MCM to death and we can't wait until the Lord brings new baby M's into our life to love! (Cant wait is figurative, folks - no babies coming anytime soon!)


So, here's the 12 week info...

While MCM has had several unusually long night's of sleep (like Monday night) she's generally sleeping 4 or 5 hour stretches at night. Mommy is okay with this and recognizes that every day is a new day and every day is different. We're thankful for every bit of sleep we get!

She is still determined to be holding up her head and has made incredible progress in the past few weeks! Today she was resting on my chest and spontaneously lifted up her head to look right in my eyes with the biggest smile. She was undoubtedly pleased with herself! Speaking of the whole head issue, no one told me what a big deal it is for a baby! I can tell that MCM is SO much happier even being able to hold her head up for a minute.

She's starting to initiate smiles, which is the cutest thing ever. She snuggles right up to you and looks up with the sweetest happy faces.

This week is the first week that we've had days without any crying episodes or horrible tummy ache evenings. What good a little growing up does! Our girl really gets cuter every day. We love her so!

"Behold, children are a gift of the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them..." (PS 127: 3-5)

Creed Thoughts

Leland, you'll love this. Props to Preston for letting us know that Creed from The Office has a blog. We old people are a little behind. Please see Creed Thought circa August 30th:

Most people have a thing against bugs, but not me. I love the little guys. The way I see it, there’s more of them than there are of us, so you have to respect them just in case. If they ever got their stuff together, they could really do some serious damage. I’m talking city destruction, livestock relocation, and political domination here.


If I had to pick my favorite bug it would have to be a spider. They’re creepy as all hell but real smart, too. I lived in a barn once and there was this one spider who I made friends with. Real classy dame of a spider. We’d talk about life and love and music. She was really into Jefferson Airplane. After our talks, I’d fall asleep and wake up to find little messages written in her web and that’s how I formally learned to read.


I wonder if land insects ever get jealous of the flying ones. I bet they do. If I saw a man flying around while I had to walk around like an idiot, I’d be jealous. I’d shoot that guy down the first chance I got.


In the late 70’s I tried to get into Flea Circusing. It’s not nearly as easy as it sounds. I bought a group of fleas from my pal Gerry and he told me they all had previous circus experience, but it was a total rip-off. They couldn’t do any tricks at all. At least not that I could see. Maybe they were just camera shy. Whatever it was, they pretty much just sat there, so I dumped them in the creek behind my hostel.


People have to stop saying “that bugs me.” It’s racist.

Here's the linky:

Creed Thoughts

Bring on the Jinx!

I know expressing my gratitude openly is bound to bring on the jinx, but I don't care. This morning I am happy, because MCM only woke up one time last night. That means she slept from approximately 9:30 PM to 7:15 AM, only waking once to eat at 3:30 AM. One quick feed is nothing to this Momma! I do want to say that as we said MCM's prayers last night, the last thing I asked was, "Please, God, help MCM to sleep well tonight for as long as humanly possible." What a blessing to have an answer to even the most feeble prayer!

Additionally, I just managed to lay her down for a nap - sleepy but awake - (I'm trying to work on that) and for the most part she went right to sleep. It's 9:00 AM, I have coffee, pop tarts and quiet. What a wonderful morning!

Wordless Wednesday

"Mom, put down the camera and put me in the bath already!"

Terrible Tuesday

Okay, I know it's really Wednesday. My plan for this week would have been to post about Nashville on Monday and then actually talk about Tuesday on Tuesday, but obviously life never goes as planned.

On Monday I was actually feeling pretty good about life - granted it quickly got dubbed "pajama day" - MCM and I kept our pjs on until waaaay into the afternoon. This actually didn't bother me, because I was still tired from the weekend to care. Nothing really bad happened yesterday. I guess the something hit me, and I just felt moody, short-tempered, impatient and generally tired. MCM must have sensed this, because she decided it was a no-sleep day with plenty of time for a lot of good cries. Why does that always seem to be the way? I also made it my goal to attend a play group that I had been saying over and over we would get to. Each week something went wrong - nap times were out of whack, MCM was having a meltdown, I just couldn't get ready in time, etc. So, I was determined to make it. (especially because I thought it might help my mood to get out of the house for a bit) I managed to put MCM down for a nap so I could get ready. But, she woke up from her nap the minute I got out of the shower and cried the whole time I got ready. My dad was even there to watch her, but she still fussed until I gave up and got her. We made it to the play group about an hour and a half late, but honestly, by the time we got there I was really feeling too yuck to play. The rest of the afternoon consisted of me practically begging MCM to sleep and then getting super frustrated when she just wouldn't.

It's crazy how quickly I can sometimes get to the end of my rope. On Monday I felt sure that all of my life is in the Lord's hands and there is not a single thing that I really need to worry about. (My mom and I even commented about how wonderful it was that MCM was going to sleep so easily, ha!) Tuesday I felt like everything was out of control and nothing has hope of being right. I wish I could say that my faith isn't that changeable, but apparently it is.

"For that which I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate...for I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the wishing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I wish, I do not do; but I practice the very evil that I do not wish." (Romans 7: 15, 18-19)

If I could articulate anything as well as Paul, I would have been saying those very words to myself, as I have needed to so many times since MCM was born and before. "For the wishing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not." Hello! How many times do I feel that very thing? All I can say is that I hope to do better. I hope for consistency. I hope to be able to control my thoughts and my attitude and my tongue better today than yesterday. I wish I had not let little things get me down and make me frustrated. I wish my capacity for patience was increasing rather than decreasing. I wish I could choose faith and joy in all the moments when I just want to say, enough! It can feel like a hopeless battle, made worse when the circumstances of life are feeling hopeless. Thank God we are not left to our own designs though!

"Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Rom 7:24,25a)

"But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who indwells you." (Rom 8:11)

"And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me." (2 Cor 12: 9)

"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil 1:6)

"For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure." (Phil 2:13)

"...For I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Phil 4: 11b-13)

The Nashville Post.

MCM and Ellie

MCM and Uncle Bubba

MCM Bubba and Fawn

MCM's first attempt at modeling. I think she's pretty good. What say you?

MCM went on tour to Nashville over the weekend, and we discovered that she is a good little traveler. While she still fights sleep most of the time, long road trips seem to lull her into quite a nice coma. Seriously, she was wonderful in the car, which is what we were worried about, and she actually did quite well sleeping at Ellie's house. Since she has slept in her own bedroom since she was born, this was our first experience sharing a bedroom with MCM. This proved convenient for me and her night feedings. However, it was not so convenient for Leland, who got to experience multiple wake-ups and a bit of lost sleep. Even so, he hated to leave us to spend part of the weekend at a retreat for the law firm in Kentucky. Good times.

We had a great visit though and got to spend lots of time with the Murphree family. Caitlin was in town with her BF Preston, who we were so happy to get to finally meet and hang out with. We got to see Papa Murphree's brand new house, which was fun and exciting. MCM almost missed it, since she chose visiting time as a good time for a long nap. What an unpredictable girl!

I also got to introduce MCM to Whitney and Will for the first time. It was such a treat to visit with Whit. There are truly no friends like old friends, and I'm always reminded of it. Our time was too brief, but hopefully it will tide me over until Christmas.

I almost missed having time to see Collin, but Ellie was sweet enough to babysit and let me go out to eat with the grown-ups Saturday night. We also swung by Collin's on the way out of town so he and Fawn could play with MCM a bit.

A fun but all-too-brief visit!

A lazy blogger returns.

What we've been doing...

We were busy, busy last week spending time with Amber, who came all the way from Dallas to spend time with us. There is truly NOTHING that is more encouraging than a generous amount of time spent with your dearest friend. I am so thankful she was able to be here!

Amber got put through mommy bootcamp, seeing the 24-hour MCM routine up close and personal. It was a blessing to have such a sweet helper!



MCM update...

MCM is getting so big! I swear she's put on a few extra pounds in the past week or so. All the sudden we look at her and can see an emerging toddler - and she's not even 3 months old! She is getting the cutest chubbiness around her arms and legs, and of course she has no neck at all right now. She is smiling a LOT more and fussing a little less. Sleep is still slightly erratic, but at this point, I think I'm learning to deal with it. I feel mostly used to the getting up at night, being busy all day. Now that she's alert and happy, I'm realizing that it's a lot of work to entertain a baby! MCM is very active and wants to be interacting with people as much as she can. She loves singing and playing silly games, and still LOVES to practice sitting up and standing. All of her hard work is paying off too, because she's getting so strong! She will be 11 weeks on Friday - almost 3 months! It feels like her life is flying by already, because she changes so much each week.



What I'm thinking...

It's interesting how much my current mode is one thing and one thing only: GIVE. I just give...and then give some more and give some more and more and more and more. It's tiring, but it's not martyrdom...it's the mode you must be in for a baby. (and the mode you remain in for many years as a parent, I suspect!) It's not that they are mean little takers, they just have so many needs, and they want to be loved and cared for by you so badly. Being analytical as I am, I tend to watch myself doing this giving, to think about it and what it means. I can see the small ways I have done this in the past for my family or for my husband, but now I see how much bigger this giving is and how much more I could do even in those relationships. It's funny how selfishness lurks even when we're feeling pretty good about ourselves. (that's martyrdom - still being selfish while thinking, "Look what I've done for you!")

I watch my own parents and see their selflessness with my brother and sister and I. I never question their willingness to do something for me, to help, to love, or just to be there. Their love for me pours out so freely and naturally that it's easy to miss the largeness of what they are doing and what it means about them inside. That must be the transformation that comes with loving as a parent. That must be what they have. It is not something that comes naturally to a sinful self, but it is something that rises up through God's grace and pours out through His love. What a miracle. In light of all these things, I can see a future rolling out before me that requires a lot of GIVE. My hope is that I will be surrendered to that future in every way...that I won't reserve the giving just for my children but will be willing to stretch as far as it takes to give to my husband, my family, to friends or even to strangers. (It's so easy to say, "I've already done enough, I'm tired!" y'know?)



Lastly (and this is getting long)...

We're taking MCM on tour to Nashville tonight. I am so excited about seeing some of you there! Let's all pray that she sleeps like a champ in the car!