How quickly we go from this...
Or this...
To this. (sound effect would be "No, Ma! No, Ma! No!)
Let's be honest here. This whole toddler thing is tough. I know I said the same thing about the baby stage, but I guess tough babies will be tough toddlers.
MCM is 20 months old. Pretty dern close to being 2...so I guess the "terrible twos" have hit our house a little early. I know I'm supposed to take the positive route and think of this time as "terrific twos" or something, but being 28 weeks pregnant, huge, and operating in a semi-constant state of exhaustion is preventing me from working as hard as I should on an maintaining an optimistic outlook. Don't get me wrong - we love our girl as much as ever. She is fun, hilarious, energetic, creative, dramatic, sweet and very loving. She is also strong-willed, spirited, stubborn, loud, picky, and generally a spit-fire from the moment she wakes up until the moment she goes to bed at night.
Around Christmas (18 months), she learned the word "no." Before that time, I started to pride myself on the fact that she never used that word. (pride goeth...) I tried hard to only use it when necessary. In general, there weren't many reasons to use it, not many battles being waged, and of course, I was only a little bit pregnant. Then, overnight, "no" became the single most-heard word around our house. Some days it seems like it's the first word I hear (No! I don't want my diaper changed even though I've been in it all night and it's starting to leak through my pj's...) and it just continues in relation to every good or bad thing all day long. "Are you hungry?" "NO." "Do you want a ba-ba?" "Nope." "Do you want to go to the park?" "No, ma! No!" It's not always a response to a question either. It is simply the go-to response for everything that happens all day, and let me tell you it. is. annoying.
And, let's talk tantrums. I used to be the mom judging the mother you see at the store/mall/park/restaurant whose child freaked out, defied her, or seemed otherwise uncontrollable in a social setting. Sometimes I felt sympathetic - certainly to mom's of crying and/or fussy babies. But, to older children, I often assumed it was the mother's fault for not being hands-on enough or something. Now, I AM that mother. The mall. The bookstore. The park. Chickfila. I am the mom who's kid is breaking down, yelling, sitting/laying on the floor instead of leaving when I'm trying to drag them out the door. Honestly, it's shocking to me. I think, "Who is this kid, and why doesn't she seem to understand the simple directions I give her or the simple things I ask her to do???" With babies, they have no choice other than to go where you go, when you go, and to basically do everything you make them do. But, what do you do when your child whom you love more than life doesn't want to do a single thing you need them to do? Oy vey!!!!!
Maybe this is just life with a strong-willed child. I cannot tell you how exhausting these days are. It's a whole lot less cute to write about than, "cuddly baby X rolled over for the first time today!" But these are the days we're in. I mean, if I only write about the fun/cute moments, these blogs are going to continue to be few and far between.
So, here's one battle I feel like I won today. We go to Chickfila. Ugh, the playground. MCM sees it the second we walk in. She has this really dramatic way of oooing and ahhing over things she gets excited about, so she starts loudly squealing with delight and saying, "Aaaaaah! Ohhhhhh!" over and over while we're getting food. I knew she was hungry, because she was asking for bock-bock in the car and it had been a while since she'd eaten. But, of course now she doesn't want to eat, because of the play ground, and everything quickly turns into a lot of whining and crying about not wanting to eat and wanting to go play. She was crying. She was loud. People were staring - in particular, an old man who could not keep his eyes off of us, and who at one point was the recipient of a very loud, "What the heck do you think you're looking at?!?" from me. I decided I needed to stand my ground and get a little food in the child, because I knew how hungry she was - hungry, already tired, and fussy = a triple threat indeed! So, I endured the fussing. I gave stern warnings. I kept reasserting my position - a couple bites of bock-bock and then she could play. It didn't seem like it was going to work, and I was almost ready to just get up and leave.......then, she quickly starts stuffing her mouth with bites of chicken and chewing like a mad woman so she could get playing. I praised her with wild abandon for her miraculous obedience, and then promptly let her go play. Progress??? Maybe. It is slower than I would prefer, but that one, tiny moment made me feel like maybe I'm not a complete failure of a mother, and maybe, just maybe, my kid will learn how to behave after all.
Hooray.
MCM is 20 months old. Pretty dern close to being 2...so I guess the "terrible twos" have hit our house a little early. I know I'm supposed to take the positive route and think of this time as "terrific twos" or something, but being 28 weeks pregnant, huge, and operating in a semi-constant state of exhaustion is preventing me from working as hard as I should on an maintaining an optimistic outlook. Don't get me wrong - we love our girl as much as ever. She is fun, hilarious, energetic, creative, dramatic, sweet and very loving. She is also strong-willed, spirited, stubborn, loud, picky, and generally a spit-fire from the moment she wakes up until the moment she goes to bed at night.
Around Christmas (18 months), she learned the word "no." Before that time, I started to pride myself on the fact that she never used that word. (pride goeth...) I tried hard to only use it when necessary. In general, there weren't many reasons to use it, not many battles being waged, and of course, I was only a little bit pregnant. Then, overnight, "no" became the single most-heard word around our house. Some days it seems like it's the first word I hear (No! I don't want my diaper changed even though I've been in it all night and it's starting to leak through my pj's...) and it just continues in relation to every good or bad thing all day long. "Are you hungry?" "NO." "Do you want a ba-ba?" "Nope." "Do you want to go to the park?" "No, ma! No!" It's not always a response to a question either. It is simply the go-to response for everything that happens all day, and let me tell you it. is. annoying.
And, let's talk tantrums. I used to be the mom judging the mother you see at the store/mall/park/restaurant whose child freaked out, defied her, or seemed otherwise uncontrollable in a social setting. Sometimes I felt sympathetic - certainly to mom's of crying and/or fussy babies. But, to older children, I often assumed it was the mother's fault for not being hands-on enough or something. Now, I AM that mother. The mall. The bookstore. The park. Chickfila. I am the mom who's kid is breaking down, yelling, sitting/laying on the floor instead of leaving when I'm trying to drag them out the door. Honestly, it's shocking to me. I think, "Who is this kid, and why doesn't she seem to understand the simple directions I give her or the simple things I ask her to do???" With babies, they have no choice other than to go where you go, when you go, and to basically do everything you make them do. But, what do you do when your child whom you love more than life doesn't want to do a single thing you need them to do? Oy vey!!!!!
Maybe this is just life with a strong-willed child. I cannot tell you how exhausting these days are. It's a whole lot less cute to write about than, "cuddly baby X rolled over for the first time today!" But these are the days we're in. I mean, if I only write about the fun/cute moments, these blogs are going to continue to be few and far between.
So, here's one battle I feel like I won today. We go to Chickfila. Ugh, the playground. MCM sees it the second we walk in. She has this really dramatic way of oooing and ahhing over things she gets excited about, so she starts loudly squealing with delight and saying, "Aaaaaah! Ohhhhhh!" over and over while we're getting food. I knew she was hungry, because she was asking for bock-bock in the car and it had been a while since she'd eaten. But, of course now she doesn't want to eat, because of the play ground, and everything quickly turns into a lot of whining and crying about not wanting to eat and wanting to go play. She was crying. She was loud. People were staring - in particular, an old man who could not keep his eyes off of us, and who at one point was the recipient of a very loud, "What the heck do you think you're looking at?!?" from me. I decided I needed to stand my ground and get a little food in the child, because I knew how hungry she was - hungry, already tired, and fussy = a triple threat indeed! So, I endured the fussing. I gave stern warnings. I kept reasserting my position - a couple bites of bock-bock and then she could play. It didn't seem like it was going to work, and I was almost ready to just get up and leave.......then, she quickly starts stuffing her mouth with bites of chicken and chewing like a mad woman so she could get playing. I praised her with wild abandon for her miraculous obedience, and then promptly let her go play. Progress??? Maybe. It is slower than I would prefer, but that one, tiny moment made me feel like maybe I'm not a complete failure of a mother, and maybe, just maybe, my kid will learn how to behave after all.
Hooray.
5 comments:
I so understand!!!! I feel like I always type that, but it's so true! Just a few weeks ago, I was chasing a naked toddler in Janie and Jack. At one point, I was sitting in the middle of the floor wresting her to get her clothes on. Who knows what I will look like with her AND a crying baby!
oh, shea! don't you love how extra pitiful we must look because we're pregnant?! you're definitely not alone! we need to get these girls together. we can commiserate while they run circles around us!
I more than understand your pain, our terrible two's started last month when Broc turned 18 months. I was shocked my little angel now said "no" and shook his head no more times than I could count in a day. Plus I've got 6 weeks left until the second little boy comes out too...ugh, frustrating. In fact two Sundays ago I found myself being one of "those" moms who "can't" control their child when he threw himself in the floor and proceeded to scream...every other parent walked by laughing...because they'd been in the same position before too! Just chant to yourself daily "I am not alone!" ;)
I think the terrible two's begin at about 18 months and last indefinitely. Shea has learned not to say "No" to me (most of the time), but she's replaced it with the same sentiment. Last month, I told her to do something, and instead of saying "no," she shook her head at me. I told her, "Now what happens when you tell Mommy 'No'?" She replied, "I didn't say 'No', Mommy." It's so hard not to laugh! I still have to discipline her defiant attitude and teach her it's no so much the words she uses but her disobedience and her rebellious spirit. She's recently replaced "No" with "I don't wanna." I guess that's progress, but it seems to never end!
I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
Ruth
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