Is Preschool Necessary?

I googled that just the other day.


Do you know how many parents are asking that very question? Apparently LOTS. There are an assortment of answers to be found too. From, "Kids who go to preschool are 10 times smarter than their peers." To, "What is the point of being a stay-at-home Mom if you're just going to farm your kids' early education out to paid teachers?" My favorite was someone who said, "Everyone knows that the more time children are surrounded by other children, the smarter they will be." That just struck me funny, because, really? Are 3-year-0lds teaching each other their ABC's?


MCM started preschool in the fall. We're blessed to be able to send her to a precious Christian school. The teachers are loving, patient and clearly enjoy teaching little ones. The environment is fun, non-threatening, and positive. However, from the moment we got the call that they had a spot open for her, I've had major hesitations about whether or not I want to send her off 3 mornings a week. (The issue of waiting lists and the difficulty of finding a good preschool is for another post, I guess!) The time we have with our children is limited. If we send them to school at age 5, that's only 4 full years of time at home with Mom. It pains me to offer up any of this time, even when I know the exchange is a positive one in many ways.


Despite my hesitations, we started MCM to school. It was very exciting for her at first, although she had trouble understanding that it wasn't just a one-time thing. "Nope, you get to go every MWF all year long!" She never cried or had a hard time being dropped off. But, for a few weeks, every time I picked her up, she would come up to me, cross her little arms and put on her best pouting face. When I got her into the car, she wouldn't want to talk about anything they'd done at school. She didn't want to talk at all. She just wanted to zone out from exhaustion. We'd get home, have a snack, a nap, and even afterward, she'd be tired still. I couldn't figure out if she was having a hard time or if she was just worn out. I mentioned it to her teachers, and they couldn't believe she'd been acting strange at all, because she was perfectly happy at school. After a while, this seemed to clear up a bit. So, I powered on. For the most part, I'd say it's been a really good experience for her. Still, I struggle with it.


Last week we had parent teacher conferences at school. MCM's teachers had nothing but sweet things to say about MCM. It encouraged us to hear that she is kind, respectful, sweet and obedient. I shared some of my concerns with her teachers, the main one being that I know MCM is doing okay in school, but I often wonder if I'm not getting the best of her at home. At home she's tired, just wants to "snuggleonthecouchwithwarmmilkandsnuggieandablanketandamovie". (That's one word for her.) When the time comes for me to try to teach her or do something constructive, she's not so interested. She's done with structure and wants to play or relax. What I found interesting is that her teachers didn't argue with me in any way. They didn't make a case for the wonders of preschool. They just said it's a decision every parent has to make. Well, boo. I would've almost preferred thy chastise me for even thinking of trying to keep her home!


We all want our children to get the very best start educationally, socially, spiritually. We want them to learn, make friends, and most importantly, know how deeply God loves them. For some of us, this comes very naturally within the home. I see this especially with friends who are teachers by vocation. They have a well of creativity and usually a well-stocked craft drawer or room to help them. They are the ones who teach as they play, have a structured home environment and usually a structured routine for older ones that incorporates "school time" into the average day. (Come to think of it, maybe I've only read about these Moms on blogs.)


For some of us (myself included), this does not come as naturally. However, my desire teach and inspire my children is usually large enough to overpower my general lack of creativity, and I'm really excellent at copying someone's creative ideas. I'm learning, but I see with MCM she's not as willing to learn from me as she is from someone else. I see that school has helped her take pride in her growing capability and independence. I see that she loves her friends and teachers. Sure, if you ask her, she'll say she'd rather stay home with Mommy and Lucy. But, in the next breath she might say she misses her friends at school. It's just that time of her life - and mine - where a little independence is good...but it's also scary. Neither of us are ready to let go of each other for 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. But, for now...this is okay.

Not sure why I'm delving into all this. I would like to post about some of the little things we're doing at home to learn spiritually and educationally. It's nothing impressive, but it's a start for Moms who, like me, are learning as you go.